


Comfort

by arthur_pendragon



Series: Loss [2]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Era, Episode: s01e13 Le Morte D'Arthur, M/M, Minor Character Death, Pre-Slash, can be viewed either as, or otherwise - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 15:44:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14772482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arthur_pendragon/pseuds/arthur_pendragon
Summary: "I've saved your life more times than you know, and you'll only ever think of me as your blundering, stupid, incompetent servant, and now I don't have a mother because of you."





	Comfort

**Author's Note:**

> thought i should add something to [Solace](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14600448). it might be a good idea to read Solace first :)

"I hate you," Merlin said raggedly into Arthur's shoulder. "I hate you and I've lost everything I love because of you."

Arthur didn't stop caressing Merlin's hair, nor did he let his breathing quicken to reflect the thundering of his heart or the wetness in his eyes.

"I wish I'd never met you. I never wanted this destiny, I never wanted to be the other side of your coin."

Arthur opened his mouth to respond—maybe to agree, or to apologise, or to console—but Merlin carried on:

"I've saved your life more times than you know, and you'll only ever think of me as your blundering, stupid, incompetent servant, and now I don't have a mother because of you."

No, Arthur wanted to say. Merlin is everything to him; he can't fathom a life without Merlin's endearing, charming mishaps anymore, any moments that he spends away from Merlin he aches until their reunion. No, Arthur views Merlin as the sole person in his life to genuinely care for him, and sometimes the thought of being the recipient of such undying devotion is too much to bear so he has to tease and taunt and jibe until the overflow in his chest settles down.

"No," Arthur said. "You're braver than anyone I know. The bravest."

Merlin's voice cracked in another sob.

Arthur had had the time to come to terms with the fact that magic had been a sizeable part of his life for the best part of a year. That his manservant—his _friend_ —was more powerful than everyone in the castle combined but still chose to exchange his own life for Arthur's without a second thought. Arthur didn't know what to do. Arthur didn't think he deserved it; not for a moment did he believe he had done anything to warrant Merlin's loyalty, regardless of whatever their future was supposed to hold.

Merlin's clammy hand grasped Arthur's own tightly and dragged it upwards. Arthur watched, heart in his throat, as Merlin touched Arthur's fingers to his lips in wet, messy kisses, mouth glancing over his knuckles and the back of his hand. Merlin turned it over to suckle the inside of Arthur's wrist—right over his pulse point—and then kissed his palm and licked the tender skin between his thumb and his forefinger, finally drawing the tips of Arthur's fingers into his mouth before releasing him with another shivering sniffle and burying his nose in the hollow between Arthur's collarbones.

"Don't leave me," Merlin whispered, eyelashes brushing tears into Arthur's skin, clutching desperately at Arthur. "Don't leave me, don't leave me, don't hate me."

Arthur gently rolled them over, crushing Merlin beneath his weight and in his arms, covering every inch of Merlin with himself, brushing his cheek against Merlin's ear and trying his hardest to imprint his presence into Merlin. Merlin's trembling calmed almost immediately; he quietened and slid his hands under Arthur's shirt, ran them up his back and pressed Arthur impossibly closer, entangling their legs, crushing Arthur in return.

"Sleep," Arthur said, mouth sweeping over the pinna of Merlin's ear.

Merlin's eyes fluttered closed. He breathed, and breathed.

Arthur breathed with him.


End file.
